I have
been on both sides of the Atheist and Christian “fence”. From my perspective,
it is rare that you find a person from either viewpoint that truly understands
the other person’s mindset. Many think that they do, but they are
mistaken. I will give you an example of
what I mean. Watch and observe whenever
these two opposites interact. You can feel the tension and often feelings of
anger are expressed in frustration. With a few exceptions, it appears that most
Christians and Atheists have a certain “mental picture” of what the others
viewpoint is that is incorrect. This is why I have named this series, In Two
Minds.
I have been thinking about this problem for a long time now. Not only is
this a personal problem, it is an issue that needlessly divides society. And
no, I am not going to be able to solve this by myself. It is a daunting task to
attempt, but I do have hope that progress can be made. Someone asked the
proverbial question, “How do you eat an elephant?” answer: “One bite at a
time.”
This is an introduction to a forthcoming series of letters between
myself and a well-respected
psychologist and former evangelical, Valerie Tarico. Valerie is a Seattle-based psychologist and author that has written about the beliefs and psychology of
Christian fundamentalists (The Dark Side: How Evangelical Teachings
Corrupt Love and Truth). She holds a Ph. D
and has been in practice since 1987.
I, Brian will share
personal experiences from both friends and family, and the website. Most of my adolescent
years were spent in the beautiful mountains of Western North Carolina
(WNC), in the Asheville area. It is part of the so-called “Bible belt area of
the USA”. The famous writer, Thomas Wolfe who penned the novel “You Can’t Go Home Again” lived there and
wrote about it. The evangelist Billy Graham also lives in this area. Life is
different there, partly due to religion that hangs heavy in the air.
Now,
I can relate to what Thomas Wolfe had written about his home in a letter to his
sister Mabel. He writes:
I
think you are wise in wanting to get out of Asheville. I have known what
happened to it for years, but I had a good chance to sum it all up when I went
back last summer. It is a ruined and defeated town, and it is full of ruined
and defeated people. If you think that I am happy about this, you do me an
injustice. After all, it was my town, I was born there, and some of the people
I care for most on earth still live there. But I found out last summer that you
can't go home again, and now I know why . . . . I am going better places, and I
invite you to come along . . . . Did you ever read a story of mine that came
out about a year ago called "I Have a Thing to Tell You?" Well, I
have a thing to tell you now: that is you can't go home again, but there are
other places you can go. So why not try to find them? (1)
Now Asheville is a great town! If you get
a chance to visit, by all means do so. Since I have moved away from my (WNC)
home, I have desired to maintain relationships with family and old friends. I
have had little success and, frankly, a man shouldn’t have to try that hard to
make them work! I am in my 40’s now, and have been an ex-minister for seven
years. The problem that is in between us is, you guessed it….religion! I have
left my fundamentalists religion and this really makes most of my family and
friends very uncomfortable. If I didn’t initiate contact with them, we would
not speak at all. Personally, I think that it is terrible that friends and
family do not speak to each other on the account of divisions due to religious
beliefs.
As I have said, this is the introduction
to a series of forthcoming letters. Check back because additional letters will
be posted as they are completed. We (Valerie and I), hope that this will be
helpful to you! Maybe you know of someone that could benefit by reading this,
if so pass this on to them!
1. Thomas Wolfe
to Mabel Wolfe Wheaton, May 10, 1938, in Elizabeth Nowell, ed., The Letters of Thomas Wolfe. New York: Charles
Scribner's Sons, 1956.
Sincerely,
Brian Worley December 2007
Want
to review another letter in this series? Just click the link below.
Letter 1 Letter 2 Letter 3 Letter 4 Letter 5
Letter 6
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Brian Worley
Exminister.org
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